The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. You have options to consider. You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest. This is not an offer or solicitation in any jurisdiction where we are not authorized to do business.
You Might Be A Redneck
The world is changing, and we're transforming to meet those changes. Find out how much house you can afford and start the preapproval process. Investing doesn't have to be so complicated. If your home value has increased, you may be able to refinance and get cash out for the things you need. Your privacy and security are at the forefront of what we do. Learn how we protect your personal information and safeguard you against fraud. Are financial hardships making your mortgage payments difficult to afford?
You have options to consider. We're here to help. Get valuable financial insight. We cover everything from building a budget to planning for retirement. We promote diversity and inclusion as a vital part of the success and future of Bank of the West. Find us on Facebook. Wireless carriers may charge fees for text transmissions or data usage. Message frequency depends on account settings. Availability of Mobile Banking may be affected by your mobile device's coverage area.
This is not an offer or solicitation in any jurisdiction where we are not authorized to do business. Bank of the West and its various affiliates and subsidiaries are not tax or legal advisors.
The website you are about to enter is not operated by Bank of the West. You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup. You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature. You think the French Riviera is foreign car. You go to a stock car race and don't need a program. You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
The primary color of your car is bondo. Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people. Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card. Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed. You've ever used lard in bed. Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve. There is a stuffed posum anywhere in your house. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. Fewer than half of your cars run. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass. The primary color of your car is "bondo". You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
Your family tree doesn't have any branches. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill. The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. Your brother-in-law is your uncle. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones. You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading. You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute". Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board. You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
Your favorite christmas present, was a painting on black velvet. You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader. The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead? You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy! Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You've ever been too drunk to fish. You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. You've ever used a weedeater indoors. You have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run. You consider a family reunion a good place to pick up girls. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. Your richest relative invites you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels and skirt. Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
You go to a tupperware party for a haircut. You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains. Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people". You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car. You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occassions. You have to scratch your sisters name out of the message: Redman sends you a Christmas card.
You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food. You have to go down to the creek to take a bath. You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest". You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year. You consider a three piece suit to be: There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You think the Mountain Men in deliverance were just "Misunderstood". You've ever made change in the offering plate. If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year," You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve You own at least 20 baseball hats.
You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head. When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank! Your biggest ambition in live is to "git thet big'ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah bubba's barn When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Beurau of Alcohol Tobbaco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can loose them or not.
You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
After making love you ask your date to roll down the window. You have flowers planted in a bathromm appliance in your front yard. Someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it. When you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack," it reminds you to pull your jeans up. You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
You have 5 cars that are immobile and house that is! You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end" "Honey? Are the lights out?
Is the door locked? Is the parking brake set? You'd rather catch bass than get some if you can't guess Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds. You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers. You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.